It's a new world, this classroom. There were natives there before me that constructed and created the land. They brought and bought and built goods. The reminder of the power through the name posted everywhere. They are king (or queen). Fine by me.
Can I borrow your stuff? You know... the stuff that you worked so hard to create. The stuff that you bought with the money your Grandma gave you for your birthday. The books that you first read while sitting on the floor in the library, then in the book store. The materials you sat through hours of lectures, seminars, and meetings for. Can I borrow all that stuff and every ounce of knowledge that goes with it?
The relationship created by a mentor-mentee is miraculous. The sharing of the resources, materials, and of the mind. The ultimate tools of an educator. An open environment that is handed over as a place to explore. The guinea pigs that sit (sometimes painfully) through the mumblings of a frazzled mess.
It's fun. The kids. But they are suddenly not kids anymore. They are in the classroom - they are students. They attach. They detach. Who am I to tell them what to do? Students know the "boss" - the king or queen - of the room. While you speak the same words, they hold different meanings to the GP's. "Please check your voices" (mousy) becomes "check your voices" (Intern level 1) becomes "CHECK your voices" (level 2) which then becomes "VOICES OFF" (Level -also known as "When is she coming back from the copy room?!?!"). It's not just getting them to listen... it's making it look like you have control. Just like they do. Just like the real teacher. They know the difference. It's not a blind taste test - the difference is clear.
I'm teaching them THIS? I'm their only source of THIS information? The accountability - suddenly it's not my knowledge of teaching that I'm worried about, but the ability of the student to learn. Ah-ha. I get it. That was the plan all along. Although that's still not on any rubric I have seen for my classes.
So, it's not my stuff. It's yours. And you are so gracious as to open your door, your drawers, and your life as a teacher to me. I, your student, try to look calm as you hand me your class. I make photo copies and I make lessons and I make mistakes. I will make you proud, I will teach them SOMETHING - eventually.
Sharing the laughs, the sillies, the inside jokes - that's my sanity. Sharing the resources, the knowledge, the ability - that's my life.
"Too late for second guessing To late to go back to sleep Is time to trust my instincts Close my eyes... And leap....
It's time to try defying gravity I think i'll try defying gravity and you can't pull me down."