I Will Never Say No When You Ask To Go To The Bathroom Again

There I was, sitting at a table with 4 students who were riveted with my extensive knowledge on mixed numbers. Glasses (who's been without glasses now for a few weeks) bursts through the classroom door. He was on a bathroom break with a 'smate that we'll rename Punk (for his inappropriate dance moves one day).

Back to the bursting through the door. So, Glasses BURSTS through the door - comes gliding across to my table, all the while shouting "PUNK.......PEED..... IN....... HIS....... PANTS!!!!"

By that time, he had reached my side. I looked at his frantic expression and said "Was that an appropriate thing to shout across the classroom?" I was really giving myself a moment to think about my action and to ponder on the whereabouts of Punk at this moment.

To my amazement, instead of simply saying "No, it wasn't," Glasses stares at the floor and rephrases his declaration.

He looks back up to me, in the same gaze as before, and says:
"Punk has a watery substance on his pants!!"

I stifle my laugh and walk across the room to the door. By the way, no less than 5 students followed me begging to go with him to the clinic. What is with these kids? Haven't they every seen a watery substance on pants before? When I open the door to ask Glasses to take him to get new clothes (I heart the parent center), I see the top half of Punk's body gazing into the classroom. He was hiding his bottom half with the doorway and wall.
Without saying anything, I motion for them to be on their way.

Classroom Invaders

At this very moment there is a nice man in my room spraying a horribly stinky & disgusting gel all over my floor, cabinets, walls, etc... Won't take you long to figure out why. My students spotted a cockroach running out of the supply bins today. The PENCIL bins. I mean, is nothing sacred? So, I am sure that I am currently losing brain cells as I inhale the supposed odor-less substance that will squash any cockroach attempt at practicing literacy again. Atleast in my classroom.

I want to mention what you may have noticed... that I downplayed the role that the students played in finding the invader. That is just the kind of teacher I am. Calm, cool, and collected. Actually, the students that saw it first - they deserve some kind of "Thanks-For-Not-Screaming-COCKROACH-From-Across-The-Room" award. Instead, they were quietly moving their backpacks and supplies until I stomped over and demanded to know why they weren't on task. Foot-in-mouth, on that one, right?

After a bit though - the word leaked and Rain Dancer stated "I live with cockroaches everyday. They're ugly. And FAST."