Outside Looking In

Warning: Non-school related post. Rain Dancer, Glasses, and the usual cast of characters will not be involved in the making of this post.

This evening I went to dinner at my grandma's house. Her home is all decked out in it's holiday finest. Every nook and cranny is splattered with some form of holiday decoration. She even wraps the pictures on the wall, so they look like large gifts hanging all around the house. The smell of those musty and old oraments and decor instantly warm my spirit. Christmas is big in my house, as this is the house I grew up in.

One particular memory makes me laugh every time I think about it. Recently my cousin wrote a note stating the same memory, so I'm glad I am not the only one that holds it dear.

Oddly enough... it involved toilet paper.

From the time I was little, Grandma went overboard on the decorating. The greatest example of this would be our bathroom. Yes, bathroom. You walked in, flipped on the lightswitch, and instantly be serenaded in high-pitched, mechanical Christmas tunage. The soundtrack was short, and would cycle through a few (tens) of times while you were brushing teeth, showering, etc... The entire bathroom looked like Santa himself had vomited the North Pole. We even had a Santa shower curtain - showing him in skivvies with soap suds generously covering his skin.

The best memory though... the toilet paper. Next to our "real" roll of toilet paper, there was a much more enticing roll. This roll was printed with the words "Merry Christmas" and "Seasons Greetings" throughout the entire roll. One sheet might have atleast 50 holiday wishes. It was one ply, and may as well have been trace paper - it was so thin. But... for some reason... we all wanted to use it. We would all sneak uses, in hopes that the missing sheets wouldn't be noticable to my Grandma. She, inevitably, would walk into the bathroom at some point in the day and shout "Who's using the Christmas Paper!?" She'd get so mad, curse in the sweet way that only Grandma's can, and threaten to not put the paper out ever again.

Well, I walked into the bathroom tonight and, what do you know... the roll was there. Again. For the 20-something year in a row. The same roll. The years have been hard on the Christmas Paper - it is very clear that there are many that have fallen into the trap of the paper temptation. While there are only about 20 sheets left, and the cardboard is clearly visible, the sight of the same roll.... the same roll that I stole sheets from over the years... graces us once again. And if you listen really carefully on a quiet holiday evening by the tree - you can still hear Grandma yelling "Who's using the damn Christmas paper!?"